Things I can't do anymore....

#1) Watch Oprah
I have been a fan of Oprah for as long as I can remember. I have learned many things from her over the years. I have laughed, I have cried, I have even traveled to Chicago and seen a taping in person. But it's over, the magic is gone. I know this because yesterday when I turned Oprah on to kill some time before Jeff got home from work I witnessed the following. Oprah and Dr. Oz leading a group of people to a dumpster where a woman who was petrified of vomit ran her hand through some. Yep- I'm through. Ellen Degeneres is MUCH more entertaining.

#2) Stomach Denise Richards
I was reading Redbook the other day(yes, I have an actual subscription,hold your laughter, I also get Good Housekeeping) and first of all, I am not sure why slutty Denise Richards is on the cover. To add insult to injury, there is a lengthy article on her inside the mag where it basically paints a picture of her as mother of the year. I don't buy it, I think she did the article only to promote herself and upcoming reality show and I am sick of her. She is talentless.

#3)Workout like I used to
I attended the Interval 1-2-3 class I used to be at religiously 3 times a week yesterday. First of all, I almost died, second of all I had to wait to speak when I got home until my heart stopped racing and third my thighs hurt so much I may have to waitress on crutches tomorrow evening. But I do plan to get to this class at least 2 times a week from here on out - no more excuses!

Welcoming the Warrior

This weekend is the baby shower I am co-hosting with the fabulous Barb & Liz for our dear Angie O. as she gets ready to welcome her first baby into the world. I am seriously just BUZZING with anticipation and delight as I get ready for the big fiesta. The planning is all coming together and I am BEYOND excited to spend tomorrow cooking and shopping and prepping all of the ADORABLE things we have planned. None of which I will mention here in case my favorite mommy to be happens to read the blog before Saturday.

I also think it is so hilarious that Angie & Mike call their unborn child The Warrior! We were never that creative before Cooper was born, we just called him Baby H. And secretly I called him Luciana, my absolute favorite girl name because I was POSITIVE he was going to be a girl.

Here's to Angie and Mike and hoping these last 6ish weeks are comfortable, go fast and are filled with rest and relaxation, because I am not kidding when Warrior is born, it will be awhile before any of these are possible again.

Happy Mother's Day!

I am excited to celebrate my first Mother's Day with Cooper in person. Last year he rode along(in my belly) on 9 holes of golf and then we went to the Dugout Bar in Manitowoc for Grilled Cheese, one of my favorites. I joked the whole day that it would be the last Mother's Day for awhile that I wouldn't be changing diapers and I enjoyed every minute of it. This year we are celebrating by taking both grandmas to The American Club in Kohler for brunch, hopefully it will be an enjoyable day for everyone.

Being a mom is something I take very seriously, it's the most important "project" I have ever taken on and I am determined to do the absolute best that I can. Being Cooper's mom is very rewarding in a way I can't even put into words. It makes me appreciate my own mom even more and wonder how in the heck she ever dealt with 3 kids under the age of 4. I mean I don't think I could handle 2 kids under the age of 4, and sometimes I don't think I can handle the 1 kid I have who is under 4. But my mom did it, plus took care of the neighbor kids, always had a big dinner on the table and was there for everything we needed. And now she is an even more dedicated Grandma. I definitely didn't know it when I was a kid, but I know it now, I am lucky to have such a great mom and I really appreciate all of the things she is still doing for me and teaching me. I guess being a mom is the job that never really ends.

Here's wishing everyone has a wonderful mother's day, whether you are celebrating yourself, or celebrating your mom, I hope it is a great day.

Home is Where my Heart Is

Although this Friday night that I spent in Milwaukee going out to dinner at Swig with Kim and then staying at the Hilton downtown was absolutely wonderful and the Making Strides walk for Breast Cancer I participated in Saturday morning was inspiring and the most exercise I have gotten in a long time, I have come to the realization that I like to be at home the most. I think it is because even though I was away from Cooper for less than 24 hours, I feel like I have missed something. He seems bigger and to have developed more personality in the short time I was away. Sappy I know, but definitely the truth!

And today we have no plans on the agenda, I need to straighten up the house, grocery shop, and if the weather cooperates, I need to get outside and clear brush, plant flowers and spray for weeds and bugs. I know - I am the most exciting & glamorous person you have ever met!!!

PRAY FOR SUMMYR

I know I haven't blogged in much too long, but let me tell you this is a great reason to get back in the habit. In the picture above are two of the most wonderful people I know, Mike & Summyr Zuern. Mike was my mentor when I started at Direct Supply and quickly became like a brother to me. He taught me everything he knew and is mostly responsible for my success at selling. I could give you a million examples of Mike being so nice and so smart and such a gem as a Partner and more importantly a friend. And his wife, the absolutely stunning Summyr is just as fabulous. They are so fun at all the DS functions and truly the kind of people that would do ANYTHING for you.

Here's my point(as we all know it takes me awhile to get there, but I get there): Summyr was diagnosed with Leukemia late last week and is going through treatment right now. Please pray for her while she goes through this tough time and send all your loving thoughts her way. No one deserves this, especially not my friends The Zuerns!

Visit her CaringBridge page at: http://www.caringbridge.org/cb/viewHome.do

Weekend Update

It has been a lovely weekend thus far. Okay weather, happy baby, lots of things crossed off the to do list and today seems like it is going to be even better. I am hoping I can convince Jeff to grill out tonight. We'll see!

We are in the process of getting a new car. As most of you know we are a Saturn family, both Jeff and I drive rather small Saturns. We of course both have NO interest whatsoever in getting a mini-van, at least not yet. So we decided to test drive the Saturn Vue and a Toyota FJ. And now we are in quote a pickle - WE both LOVE the FJ and it seems to have more cargo space and just be a more comfortable vehicle. However the Vue seems to be a better value:( And Jeff's employer offers a discount when purchasing a Saturn that totals about $1100. The FJ is fun, the Vue is practical. We will see what we end up with.

Today we are off to church and then perhaps we will do something fun like taking a trip to Target and the grocery store. It is definitely time for Cooper to get his rear in a highchair!

What a Week!

Can I just say that I am so thankful tomorrow is Friday and I have off from work? Although technically I will still be working at the golf course tomorrow evening, I will have most of tomorrow off and am planning some fun activities with Cooper like swimming in the pool at the Y, shoe shopping and getting an oil change. I know he will like at least one of those!

This week the following has take place at the H-Household:

-A plumber came to fix the toilet in the master bath

-A landscaper came to give us suggestions on what we are hilariously referring to as "the 10 year plan" for our yard (because it will take us 10 years to be able to afford everything!)

-Cooper is cutting his second tooth and it is a killer! Case in point, I asked Jeff to pick up some teething remedies, as Tylenol alone is just not helping and he came home with 4 options. We will try anything to keep this little guy comfy

-We tried out a new babysitter Emily, she was scheduled for Monday, Wednesday & Friday morning, in preparation for a big night out for us on Saturday with Kim & Creighton when they are in town for Coop's baptism. Well, Monday went okay, Emily showed up looking like she was out all night drinking, but did an okay job with Coop. However she did share that her younger brother a high school junior who steals "things" from people is expecting his first child with his girlfriend in July which was a little alarming. Then Wednesday morning at 1:40am she emails me to tell me she has "been up all night throwing up and won't be able to make it for Wednesday. And will call me IF she wakes up in time in the morning." You will be shocked to know she hasn't called. I asked her to let me know if she could make Friday morning but haven't heard from her. Don't worry ladies & gentlemen, I am not leaving my kid alone with this drunkard on Saturday night, Cooper will be coming out to dinner with the grown-ups.

-We have decluttered the whole house to get ready for the baptism on Sunday!!

-And I have barely slept at all, thank you Cooper!

WHY???

Just a few questions I would like to ask my fabulous readers to make sure I have a grip on reality and also just to let it out!

Why do houseguests always seem to break something? For the record Marcia tried to break our stereo/TV by pressing all the buttons in an attempt to turn up the volume. Joke was on her when she accidentally set the alarm timer and blasted Baby Einstein throughout the house at midnight - as she slept in our living room. She successfully broke the bathtub drain in one of our bathrooms by pulling it to the side instead of straight up & down. Luckily Jeff fixed it.

Why do in-laws have to make everything difficult? After one of my friends shared a HILARIOUS in-law story this morning, I was thanking my lucky stars that we have not had much in-law drama with Cooper's upcoming Baptism. WRONG! Jeff fielded a call today basically asking him to establish a schedule with both parties for which events they would get to attend. So our kid is like a timeshare or one more thing that should have been settled in their divorce decree I guess. I will say this again to my single friends: DO NOT MARRY SOME ONE WHO HAS DIVORCED PARENTS THAT ARE ON POOR TERMS!!!!!

Why does Jeff stop at Green Lights? I would call this DANGEROUSLY cautious!

Why does Cooper put his feet in his mouth? Because he can!

This could be the best weekend ever....

The weather is predicted to be in the 50s and I seriously almost teared up when I saw that forecast. I am so excited to get some fresh air into my house and enjoy the weather. We actually have our good friends Marcia from Iowa and Tiffany from Milwaukee staying with us this weekend and have had a blast with them so far.

Friday night we just had to head out to Royal Scot golf course for the best fish fry in Green Bay. This morning, we enjoyed a HUGE breakfast of bacon, an egg & sausage strata, fresh fruit and donuts. Then of course we were off to the Packer Hall of Fame. Cooper enjoyed learning about the Packers very much and is excited to go back when he is a little older so he can learn how to do the Lambeau Leap. When we finally got back home, it was of course time for dinner. Chef Jeff my husband grilled Chicken Spinach & Asiago Sausages, which are delish with Aunty Jeanne's home made BBQ Sauce and also burgers that he somehow made so juicy, it was great, a wonderful first grill session of the season. We complimented everything with our famous potato grill packs and jello salad. I am in bad food heaven. Is it sad I am already dreaming about leftover donuts for breakfast tomorrow?

I hope you are all having a wonderful weekend. I am hoping Cooper and I can get some yard work done tomorrow. We also need to get his baby swing attached to the swing set.

A day in the life of Cooper J. Hoisington

7am-smack mommy in the face to wake her up since I insist on sleeping right next to her most nights(if mommy does not respond quickly enough I start flailing my arms and screaming in her ear)
7:10am-Eat breakfast
8am-play with my toys but only until I determine mommy is actually getting something done
8:15am-Sit on mommy's lap attempting to pull her headset off, if this doesn't work, lunge at her keyboard and push all the buttons at once
8:30am-Play with mommy who looks defeated
8:45am-Bounce in my jumparoo, the whole time staring at mommy and making her feel guilty
9:00am-Tired from all that bouncing curl up for a nice nap
9:25am-I am refreshed, I think I will make sure mommy is okay
9:30am-Spend about 20 minutes trying to break my animal gym
9:50am-Realize I am hungry and start making a high pitched dolphin/Mariah Carey noise, if this doesn't make mommy stop taking phone calls, nothing will!
10am-Have some more milk, then cereal, then some sort of fruit
10:20am-Create the most disgusting diaper possible, then smile slyly as mommy almost vomits while changing me
10:25am-I feel light as a feather and would like to roll around all over the floor
11:00am-I would now like to ride in my swing
11:15am-Now you need to hold me and sing my favorite songs and don't try to throw in any new songs, this makes me furious!
12:00 Lunch and another nap, just in time for Nanny Maggie to arrive
1:30 Nanny Maggie & I watch the Brewer game, to show her how much I care I pee and poop enough to get some on her very white very nice Brewer jersey. This makes nanny Maggie scream and Mommy run around the house getting stain remover. Meanwhile I am relaxing in a clean dry diaper and loving life.
2:30 Mommy and Maggie have recovered from my mess and have redressed me-this sucks. I protest by whining a lot and then falling asleep
4:30 Daddy is home, mommy and daddy are trying to eat dinner, but in my house, no one eats until I am done eating, so I decide to let everyone know I want dinner by screaming
5:00pm I am finished eating and now need both of my parents to pay attention to me nonstop, I want to be entertained!
6:30pm I am getting bored and need a nap prior to sleeping for the night
7:00pm I awake and proceed to spit on myself and anyone else who comes near me for 30 minutes, I am a pro spitter
7:30pm FEED ME!!! I need cereal, veggies, fruit and a huge bottle.
8:30pm Mommy and Daddy think I am asleep for the night, jokes on them, I am in the crib dreaming up how I can get them to let me sleep in their bed again. I will take a Tempurpedic king size over this crappy crib mattress any day!

THE TOOTHFAIRY HAS DROPPED OFF OUR FIRST TOOTH!

After weeks of thinking Cooper was teeting as he drooled and put everything into his mouth and tried to bite our fingers off. Finally - he has a tooth. And I am devastated. No more perfectly gummy smiles! I also can not believe 5 months have already passed since he was born. He does something new everyday and most days it's something absolutely hilarious. For example, he has started screamingin a very high pitched tone. So the other night he is screaming and it lasts for about a good minute and then at the end of the scream is a low pitched belch. Seriously - such a man!!!!

PERFUME

So I was thinking over the past few weeks about perfume. Do you remember being younger and thinking your mother had THE BEST perfume? Of course for me, this was during the height of the 80s and my mom had this very fancy mirrored pedestal tray that she kept all of her special perfumes on and I remember spending hours smelling each one and thinking they were very glamorous. She did have Chanel No.5, which for my mom is pretty remarkable because nowdays she doesn not do ANYTHING hip. The funny thing about the perfume and my whole point for writing this is that there were 2 that I was totally enamored by: White Shoulders and Charlie And of course now that I am grown up, I have WAY different opinions of these fragrances.

Do you have any fragrance flashbacks that crack you up now?

Spring- Where are you?

Really-what in the world is going on? I know we live in Wisconsin, I know it snows a lot here, but seriously when is the reprieve? Where is the one or 2 token 40 degree days that help get rid of all the blasted white stuff? Our driveway is so narrow it's more like a hiking trail. And unbelievably I can recall that just a mere 8 years ago when I was a senior in college, Royal Scot golf course opened on February 28th because it was completely thawed and the frost was GONE from the ground. So... I am personally combatting the winter blahs by doing the following:

#1) Planning a TON of activites for all of us for this summer (brewer games, trips to Kohler, trips to the zoo, we may even get Cooper baptized in there some place)

#2)Accomplishing one of my goals this year and doing more fundraising/community service. The first is the Breast Cancer Walk in May, just say the word if you would like to join the walk, or if you would like to donate, that would be FABULOUS as well. The second is something so easy, I would encourage you to take part as well. it is called: Make a Child Smile and you can find details at: ww.makeachildsmile.com I set an outlook reminder and then once per month I log on and send out a few cards to the featured children on the site.

#3)Planning the baby shower of my girl Angie O. and her fabulous baby who we all refer to as
" The Warrior" I can not wait to meet this lil spitfire!!!

#4)Planning our winter vacation for next year, we will be going to Phoenix for Brewers Spring Training with Kim, Creighton and Connor. It will be Cooper's first plane ride.

So if you want to steal any of these ideas and use them for yourself, you should go for it. It is helping me forget that I have been trapped inside almost non-stop for the last month!!!!

BATTLE OF WILLS

Well it has happened, Cooper and Mommy have had their first battle of wills and Mommy has won. It all started a few weeks ago when Cooper decided he would like to have a bottle all of the time instead of nursing. He refused to nurse and then would scream his little head off until I would just give him the bottle. At first he was doing this once a day, then suddenly it was at every feeding, so finally I called my favorite nurse Ramona at Bellin to get some advise. She said that basically I would have to just keep offering him to nurse ONLY and that he would get pretty upset but he would eat eventually as babies don't starve themselves. So...I decided to take her advice immediately. Cooper was in hysterics for about 5 minutes then finally he gave in and started eating, however he wouldn't make eye contact with me and seemed defeated. It was heartbreaking to have to be mean to him, but it was for his own good. I have a feeling I will be feeling this way even more often as he grows up.

Who cares if the Packers lost.....

I won big last Sunday night - REAL BIG, now before I sound like a big jerk, we were in fact heartbroken that the Packers lost. In fact both Jeff and I really thought we were going to vomit as we watched the Giants win in overtime.

However, I had a GREAT day - GREAT!!!! First, my Amazing Race team Rachel & TK won, if you don't know Jeff & I always bet on the reality TV shows we watch. We place the bet in the first minutes of the premiere episode, so there is no way to have an advantage, however, Jeff always seems to win. Well this time, I finally prevailed and I won a spa treatment from Jeff. I think I am going to get an herbal body wrap. Which if you never have had one before - I recommend them!

And it gets better - we put Cooper to bed about 10pm and he slept until 5am. YAY - one full night's sleep, it was GREAT!!!!! Of course he hasn't slept through the night again, but I have confidence that he will get there.

For now, that's all I have got - the life of a mommy is not all that exciting!

Happy New Year- I am purging!!!

And no, I haven't suddenly gone bulimic, I am just cleaning out my closet for the first time in about 2 years. It has actually been a lot of fun. First, because some things that didn't fit prior to me being pregnant now fit and secondly because I have found some hilarious items that I can't even imagine actually buying. Do you have anything like that in your closet?

So, although the task is not yet complete, I have found it to be very motivational and rewarding. It is actually VERY strange and surreal to put on your "normal" clothes after 9 months of gaining weight and getting larger. Your mind really plays tricks on you, like, "really me stomach isn't sticking out 3 feet in front of me?!?!" So I am finding it difficult to wear anything that shows my waistline, but I will get there. Because seriously, who can wear those crazy balloon shirts of pregnancy forever?

I am packing up my collection of maternity wear, combined with the items Kim gave me after she had Connor and putting them into a Rubbermaid container for the next fabulous friend who needs them. My plan is to have everyone who needs/uses the clothes just kind of add their own items to the box and eventually we will have a 4 season maternity wardrobe. My stuff is pretty heavy on the summer items, of course, BUT- I am thinking with a few more pregnancies amongst the friends, we will get there. HINT HINT to my pals reading this: GET PREGNANT!!!!

I hope you are all having a wonderful new year thus far - I certainly am!

Merry Christmas to All and to all a good night's sleep!!!!

I wanted to make a quick post and let everyone know I would be thinking of them over the holidays and hoping they have an enjoyable time with family and friends. We are heading to Manty on Christmas Eve for church and the annual food and drink fest at mom & dad's. It is always way too much fun. Although, since I won't get plastered this year, I guess I will see how it really is when you are the only sober person there.

Christmas day, as I have mentioned, we are hosting Jeff's family, which consists of his mom and 2 brothers, so nothing too advanced. We are roasting a brisket of beef, making cheesy potatoes, broccoli and tomato salad, having dinner rolls and baking an apple pie for dessert. It should be fun and I will be distracted in the kitchen, so I won't need to talk to anyone. This year, the number of topics to avoid discussing with his family has tripled, so not sure how long talking about the weather will last. I plan to drink a lot when no one is watching, this way, they can avoid commenting on if it is a good idea to get sloshed and then feed Cooper.

Also, wanted to mention that the pictures on this post feature the gorgeous creations of my cousin Adrienne, she is a very talented knitter. I will miss seeing her over Christmas, as she is probably my most entertaining relative. I am sure she knows we will be thinking about her and that Cooper loves his gorgeous apparel from Cousin Adge.

Enjoy each moment of whatever you are doing for the holidays!

I am too tired to care about the following...

#1)Our driveway is an ice rink and my husband seems to think this is no big deal because we park in the garage. I will of course be out there next week chipping away at the ice and then running inside every 5 minutes to make sure Cooper isn't screaming. For whatever reason our monitor isn't quite working outside the house yet.

#2)Jeff asked me today if I thought it would be okay for him to go to fight weekend with his friends in February in Milwaukee. Which is fine with me(not really, but I will pretend), but I can't help but wonder - when in the heck do I get to have a weekend away????!!!???!!!??? In fact, when am I going to get a full nights sleep??!!??!! I would even take 4 consecutive hours of sleep.

#3)We are entertaining the in-laws on Christmas day, I have asked Jeff to discuss a menu about a million times, to which he replies, "ham". So I am not bringing this up again and I am seriously laughing my but off picturing us eating deli ham sandwiches and boxed potatoes on Christmas Day because he as usual has no idea what it really takes to properly entertain people and will seriously probably think he can run to the store on Christmas Day. Good thing Kwik Trip will be open:)

I will say I am looking forward to tomorrow, we will head to Manty for Grandma's 85th b-day celebration, then we are going out to dinner in Kohler with my parents and sister. We are eating in the Wisconsin Room at the American Club where Heidi is chef. Very excited for some grown up time. Although Cooper will be there and Jeff will be panic stricken because he seems to think Cooper should stay at home for the rest of his life, but oh that's right, I am too tired to care...wink wink!

All I want for Christmas is....

For people to be better listeners. Why does listening seem to be such a hard skill for some people? I don't want to name names, but I will give you a clue, she lives about 90 minutes away from us and she is related to Jeff. After we provided very specific Christmas Lists, she calls to say she wants to buy me clothes. Um- NO!!!! I have a closet full of suits and clothes I never wear, as since I work from home (and Angie O. can attest to this) I am usually wearing pajamas, a jog suit or workout clothes. Jeans are now what I consider "dressing up" for my trips to the grocery store. So seriously, I can barely wear the clothes I do have and to know that some one who asks us every year for a Caroline Ingalls style flannel nightgown for her Christmas gift wants to get me some apparel, I have to put my foot down. I am sure this will again characterize me as the B*tchy daughter in law, but seriously, get us what we ask for, not what you have found a super sale on.

PS)I am going to drink on Christmas Eve and Christmas day, I figure it won't kill Cooper and I think it is the only way I will be able to deal with everyone on zippo sleep.

A method to Daddy's madness....

I am sure you have noticed, if you are even still reading my blog that I have not been very good at posting lately. So many priorities, so little time. But I do have a funny story to share about Jeff's very alternative parenting style.

Cooper has a very definite crabby time and it is evenings from about 4-6pm, which is miserable for poor Jeff, he comes home from work and is greeted by a screaming baby. And I usually need a break by then, even if it is only a 10 minute shower break, I need some time off from our little guy. So Jeff is tasked with trying to figure out what on earth could be bothering Cooper and then trying to satisfy him. Last week, Cooper was beyond upset and after both of us trying for more than an hour to settle him down, I had to pump, so Jeff was on his own. As I finished up and turned off the pump, I could hear some super loud music coming from the bedroom upstairs where Jeff and Cooper were camped out. I was a little worried as I approached thinking that Jeff had left a crying Cooper in the crib and had locked himself in the bathroom and blasted his new Matchbox 20 CD. Oh no....I opened the door and discovered Jeff playing air guitar on Cooper's belly as Cooper was completely asleep/out cold. Interesting method, I would have never tried it, but it worked. Cooper seems to really enjoy loud music.

I hope everyone is enjoying the holiday season and I promise to try to post more regularly!