The Fabulous Life of Ang

A day in the life of Cooper J. Hoisington

7am-smack mommy in the face to wake her up since I insist on sleeping right next to her most nights(if mommy does not respond quickly enough I start flailing my arms and screaming in her ear)
7:10am-Eat breakfast
8am-play with my toys but only until I determine mommy is actually getting something done
8:15am-Sit on mommy's lap attempting to pull her headset off, if this doesn't work, lunge at her keyboard and push all the buttons at once
8:30am-Play with mommy who looks defeated
8:45am-Bounce in my jumparoo, the whole time staring at mommy and making her feel guilty
9:00am-Tired from all that bouncing curl up for a nice nap
9:25am-I am refreshed, I think I will make sure mommy is okay
9:30am-Spend about 20 minutes trying to break my animal gym
9:50am-Realize I am hungry and start making a high pitched dolphin/Mariah Carey noise, if this doesn't make mommy stop taking phone calls, nothing will!
10am-Have some more milk, then cereal, then some sort of fruit
10:20am-Create the most disgusting diaper possible, then smile slyly as mommy almost vomits while changing me
10:25am-I feel light as a feather and would like to roll around all over the floor
11:00am-I would now like to ride in my swing
11:15am-Now you need to hold me and sing my favorite songs and don't try to throw in any new songs, this makes me furious!
12:00 Lunch and another nap, just in time for Nanny Maggie to arrive
1:30 Nanny Maggie & I watch the Brewer game, to show her how much I care I pee and poop enough to get some on her very white very nice Brewer jersey. This makes nanny Maggie scream and Mommy run around the house getting stain remover. Meanwhile I am relaxing in a clean dry diaper and loving life.
2:30 Mommy and Maggie have recovered from my mess and have redressed me-this sucks. I protest by whining a lot and then falling asleep
4:30 Daddy is home, mommy and daddy are trying to eat dinner, but in my house, no one eats until I am done eating, so I decide to let everyone know I want dinner by screaming
5:00pm I am finished eating and now need both of my parents to pay attention to me nonstop, I want to be entertained!
6:30pm I am getting bored and need a nap prior to sleeping for the night
7:00pm I awake and proceed to spit on myself and anyone else who comes near me for 30 minutes, I am a pro spitter
7:30pm FEED ME!!! I need cereal, veggies, fruit and a huge bottle.
8:30pm Mommy and Daddy think I am asleep for the night, jokes on them, I am in the crib dreaming up how I can get them to let me sleep in their bed again. I will take a Tempurpedic king size over this crappy crib mattress any day!